2015

2014 was horrible and wonderful all at the same time. I lost my dad and that was very very horrible. It changed me. I’m not like I used to be. I’m stronger, but also weaker in a sense. I also got a few negative people out of my life, and in the process of it, that kind of hurt also but it made me realize who my true friends were and I met an amazing guy. I’m still sad but I’m also happy, it’s just a mixture of both and I can deal with that. This year my only goal is to be happy and learn to unapologetically say no and tell people what I’m really feeling instead of just saying “nothing I’m fine.” I want to say what I feel. An unfiltered version of it. Not the sugarcoated version. I want to go to church again and I don’t want to feel insecure anymore. That’s a big problem for me. I always find something wrong with myself and I get my feelings hurt too easily. Really, I just want to be happy and a real version of myself in 2015.

Yet Another Survey

basics
what’s your name ➔Audrey
do you have a nickname ➔Nemo
do you have a middle name ➔Lane
do you like your name ➔Yes
do people often mispronounce your name ➔Yes
do you like the meaning of your name ➔Sure
when is your birthday ➔July 29th
how old are you ➔16
do you like your age ➔I guess
what’s your zodiac sign ➔Leo

appearance
what’s your hair colour ➔Blonde
is your current hair colour your natural hair colour ➔No
do you dye your hair ➔Yes
do you have natural highlights ➔No
when was the last time you had a haircut ➔Last month
what length is your hair right now ➔Medium-Long
do you have straight, wavy or curly hair ➔Curly, like a fro
do you have frizzy hair ➔yes
do you use a curling iron ➔No
do you use a hair straightener ➔Sometimes
do you braid your hair ➔No
what’s your eye colour ➔Green
do your eyes change colour ➔Sometimes
do you wear contacts ➔No
do you wear glasses ➔Reading glasses
do you have naturally long eyelashes ➔No
do you wear braces ➔Yes
do you have dimples ➔No
do you have moles ➔Yes
do you have outstanding cheekbones ➔I don’t Know
do you have freckles ➔Yes
do you have piercings ➔No
do you have tattoos ➔No
do you wear make up ➔Yes
do you paint your nails ➔Sometimes
do you wear jewelry ➔Yes
are you happy with your height ➔Yes

personality
would you consider yourself outgoing or shy ➔Shy
are you sarcastic  ➔Yes
what’s your biggest fear ➔losing people I love
are you religious ➔I go to church sometimes but not alot lately
do you get easily along with people ➔No
do you cry easily ➔No

school
do you go to high school ➔yes
what grade are you in ➔10th
have you skipped a grade ➔No
have you been held back a grade ➔Sort of
have you ever failed a class  ➔No
have you been sent to the principals office ➔Yes
have you skipped school ➔No
have you cheated on a test ➔Yes

family
do you live with your biological parents ➔Yes
do you get along with your parents ➔No
do you tell your parents everything ➔No
do you have strict parents ➔Sort of
do you have siblings ➔Yes
are you the oldest ➔Yes
are you in the middle ➔No
are you the youngest ➔No
are all of your grandparents still alive ➔No

friendships
do you have a best friend ➔Yes
do you have more than 10 friends No
do you have at least 2 friends you can trust with your life ➔Yes
do you have a lot of guy friends, a lot of girl friends or equal girl and guy friends ➔I think It’s equal
do you text with your friends a lot ➔A few of them

relationships
what’s your relationship status ➔Taken
have you ever been in love ➔yes
do you believe in love at first sight ➔I guess
have you ever been in a relationship ➔Yes
have you ever had a secret admirer ➔No
have you ever been asked out on a date ➔Yes
have you ever been kissed ➔Yes
have you ever made out with someone ➔Yes
have you ever been cheated on ➔No
have you ever been proposed to ➔No
do you want to get married ➔Yes
do you want kids ➔Yes

country
where were you born ➔US
where do you live right now ➔US
have you ever been out of the country ➔No
do you prefer country or city ➔City
do you like sightseeing ➔I guess
is one or more of your parents from another country ➔No
are you fluent in more than one language ➔No
what languages can you speak ➔I speak a little German

health
do you have any allergies ➔yes
are you lactose intolerant ➔yes
have you had surgery ➔no
have you had stitches ➔yes
have you broken a bone ➔no
has someone close to you died of a disease ➔yes
do you exercise a lot  ➔no

experiences
have you ever had a near death experience ➔no
have you ever been on a plane ➔yes
have you ever had an allnighter ➔yes
have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night ➔yes
have you ever been in a physical fight ➔no
have you ever been to a wedding ➔yes
have you ever been to a funeral ➔too many
have you ever lived in a different country ➔no
have you ever been trick or treating ➔yes
have you ever been in a school play ➔yes
have you ever been to a camp ➔yes
have you ever driven a car ➔yes

skills
how many languages are you fluent in ➔one
have you ever read a book in another language ➔no
can you roll your tongue ➔yes
can you braid hair ➔yes
can you do a handstand ➔no

habits
do you crack your knuckles ➔yes
do you bite your nails ➔no
do you bite your lips ➔yes

favourites
what’s your favourite movie ➔The Breakfast Club
what’s your favourite tv show ➔awkward
what’s your favourite book ➔Idk
what’s your favourite song ➔Idk
what’s your favourite colour ➔blue
what’s your favourite animal ➔elephant
what’s your favourite season ➔spring/fall/summer

this or that
summer or winter ➔Summer
day or night ➔Night
cats or dogs ➔dogs
rain or shine ➔shine
coffee or tea ➔coffee
reading or writing ➔reading
humorous or serious ➔humorous
brown or blue eyes ➔blue
texts or calls ➔calls
driving or walking ➔walking

last
last phone call ➔seth
last text ➔seth
last song you listened to ➔drops of jupiter
last thing you ate ➔chicken sandwich
last thing you drank ➔blue gatorade
last purchase ➔VS underwear
last time you cleaned your room ➔I don’t know

Well that’s alot of reading so if you read all of that go get yourself a cookie.

Happy? Happy.

I haven’t posted in a while so I’m just going to start typing and see where this goes.

So if anyone is wondering, (even though I don’t think anyone reads my blog.) I’m still dating Seth. My mother still annoys me most of the time and If I haven’t mentioned before she has a boyfriend. This week I had my first thanksgiving without nick and without my dad and I didn’t have a mental breakdown. I just cried for a minute. I was proud of myself. I think Christmas will be a lot harder though. Today we had family pictures made. I think I probably looked bad in them. Today is also a year since nick died. Seth took me to the cemetery because he’s amazing. I only cried a tiny bit. And Judith is sick. I don’t know what’s wrong with her though. I worry about her and I hope she’s going to be okay. Seth left to go back a few hours ago and I already miss him. I think that he’s the only reason I haven’t had a mental breakdown lately. My anxiety has been a little worse lately though. I just miss everybody. And I don’t understand why everyone has to leave me. I miss daddy. He was always who I talked to about things. I’ve never talked to mom about things. She doesn’t understand me like daddy did. But it’s whatever. It’s my life and I can deal with it. I’m actually happy right now. I may not seem like it sometimes because sometimes I overthink and I confuse myself. But, I’m happy.

Survey

I took this survey for fun. Here are my answers.

Survey:

1. Is there a boy/girl in your life?
Yes

2. Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
No

3. What do you think of when you hear the word “meow”?
A cat

4. What’s something you really want right now?
To be with Seth

5. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Yes

6. Do you like the beach?
No

7. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
Yes

8. What’s your wallpaper?
A picture of me and Seth

9. Name the last four beds you sat on.
Mine, moms, nannys, hotel bed

10. Do you like your phone?
Yes

11. Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
I guess

12. Who is the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
I don’t remember

13. Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?
Rottweiler

14. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
Emotional

15. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
A zoo

16. Are you tired?
I’m always tired

17. How long have you known your first phone contact?
My whole life

18. Are they a relative?
Yes

19. Would you ever consider getting back together with one of your exes?
I don’t have any exes

20. When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
About ten seconds ago

21. If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
Yes

22. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Absolutely

23. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
None

24. Is there a certain quote you live by?
Not really

25. What’s on your mind?
I miss Seth.

26. Do you have any tattoos?
No, I want one

27. What’s your favorite color?
Blue

28. When’s the next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
When Seth comes home

29. Who are you texting?
Seth

30. Think to the last person you kissed, have you kissed them on a couch?
Yes

31. Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
Yes

32. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
I can talk to Seth

33. Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Yes

34. Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes

35. Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you.
I would cry

36. Were you single on Valentine’s Day?
Yes

37. Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
Yes

38. What do your friends call you?
Audrey

39. Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Yes

40. Have you ever cried over a text?
Yes

41. Where’s your last bruise located?
On my leg

42. What is it from?
I don’t know

43. Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
Right now

44. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
Seth

45. Do you have a favorite pair of shoes?
Yes

46. Do you wear hats if you’re having a bad hair day?
No

47. Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
No

48. Do you make supper for your family?
Occasionally

49. Does your bedroom have a door?
Yes

50. Top 3 apps
Twitter snapchat and Instagram

51. Do you know anyone who hates shopping?
Yes

52. Does anything on your body hurt?
Yes

53. Are goodbyes hard for you?
Really hard

54. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Orange Gatorade

55. How is you hair?
Fro-ish

56. What do you usually do first in the morning?
Text Seth

57. Do you think two people can last forever?
I hope two people can last forever

58. Think back to January 2010, were you single?
Yes

59. Green or purple grapes?
Green

60. When’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?
When Seth comes home

61. Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Yes

62. When will be the next time you text someone?
In a few minutes

63. Where will you be five hours from now?
Leaving school

64. What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Sitting in class

65. This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
No

66. Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Yes

67. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
No

68. What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
Probably something about Seth

69. Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
Yes

70. How many apps are open on your phone?
2

71. How many fingers do you have?
10

72. What is your ringtone?
The default

73. How old will you be in 5 months?
16

74. Where is your mom right now?
Work

75. Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
They are at college

76. Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
No

77. Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
No

78. Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
No

79. Is there anyone you know with the name mike?
Yes

80. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone’s arms?
Yes

81. How many people have you liked in the last three months?
1

82. Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last three days?
No

83. Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
Yes

84. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
Judith

85. If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?
Probably

86. What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to the movies?
I don’t remember

87. Who was your last received call from?
Seth

88. If someone gave you 1,000 dollars to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
No

89. What is something you wish you had more of?
Time

90. Have you ever trusted someone too much?
Yes

91. Do you sleep with your windows open
Sometimes

92. Do you get along with girls?
Not really

93. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
No

94. Does sex mean love?
No

95. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
Not at all

96. Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
No

97. Did you sleep alone this week?
Yes

98. Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
Yes

99. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I’m not sure

100. Who was the last person that you pinkie promised?
Judith

101. What’s a fact about the last person you kissed?
He’s a loser

102. Something you really want right now?
For Seth to come home

103. Do you think you’re old?
No

104. Are you a jealous person?
Not really

105. What are you wearing?
Ripped skinny jeans a hoodie and converse

106. When is the last time you had butterflies?
I’m not sure

107. What were the last two movies you watched?
Guardians of the Galaxy and ninja turtles

108. Hot or cold weather?
Hot

109. If you had a child, would you rather have a girl or a boy?
A boy first, then a girl

110. What was the last thing you ate?
A donut

111. Say something negative about the last person you spoke to.
They talk a lot

112. Does anybody have a reason to be worried about you right now?
Possibly but not really

113. Has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs?
Probably

114. Do you like to drive around with no real destination?
Yes

115. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
Yes

116. Do you hate being the first person to start a conversation?
Only if I start the conversation every time

117. Honestly, do you think that you will wanna settle down in the same town you’re currently residing in?
Probably not

118. If you could have anything to eat and drink what would it be?
Chicken Alfredo and orange Gatorade. And chocolate chip cookies

119. What is the last song you listened to?
A little less sixteen candles a little more “touch me” by fallout boy

120. Have you ever caught something on fire?
Yes

If you read all of these, wow, but awesome!

One month with a loser

So, today is one month that I’ve been dating the best guy ever! It feels like it’s been a lot longer than that to me. I never thought I would be dating him when I met him this summer but I’m glad we met and I’m glad we’re dating. He makes me happy. I miss him a lot though. I wish I could see him more. Okay then well bye!

5 months

I have a headache. I just want to sleep. I’m having a good day but it’s also not a good day. Today is 5 months since my dad died. That was a bad day and I don’t want to remember it but I’m sort of forced to today. So, for three of the four months since my dad died I was depressed. I’m happy now though. I just hope it can stay this way… I hope I can stay happy. I’m doing the squat challenge with Judith and my legs feel like they’ve been run over by a semi. I miss Seth. I’m in a complaining mood today. Sorry about that.

Mad mother

So let me tell you guys what happened this weekend! (I forgot until now but, yeah.) Seth got to come home this weekend! So Friday he got back earlier than he thought he would so he came to the house. ( my mom and brother were in Tuscaloosa for the football game.) Anyways, so he came over and we fell asleep on the couch and the next morning we went to a xc meet and my grandmother texted me and asked me if my mom knew Seth spent the night and I said no I don’t wanna tell her either. Then my grandmother texted my mom and told her and my mom called me very mad. She said she doesn’t trust me now and she thinks me and Seth had sex (we didn’t) and I assured her all that happened was he fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake him up and I slept in my room. (I didn’t sleep in my room) and then she called his dad and blah bleh blah bleh blah. We went to Taco Bell and it was raining and we got soaked and then he dropped me off at the house. Then Seth came over Sunday before he left and ate supper with us and then he left and I was sad 😦 . My mom isn’t that mad anymore though. Seth thinks she hates him now. She doesn’t hate you Seth. That’s it! This was a bad post. Deal with it.